i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
