just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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