Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
