We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
bring money and cleavage
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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