We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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