You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
