I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
