I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
