Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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