Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
