No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
