So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
i think my cat just said my name.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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