I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
