At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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