these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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