Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
