no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
