I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
