Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
