while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
So squirting runs in the family.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
