i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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