Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I need help removing her.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
