Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
