I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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