He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
