i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
