Where are you?
In a non slutty way
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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