You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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