I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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