I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
