Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
