it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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