If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
