hell yes lets make some ravioli
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
