i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
