I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Randomize
