JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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