I feel like abortions should bother me more
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
