I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
