omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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