is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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