Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
