I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
