Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
