I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You can't motorboat a personality
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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