oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
