Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
