It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
