and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
