u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
